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There's just a comfort to adding an AfricanBlackDark-Skinner to our shows!!! (Occasionally.) If you ask me, the fun is in adding your own take on their identities!!! Now, some folks, such as American whites in the entertainment industry, prefer the--uh--'white chocolate' (if you know what I mean) for their shows. I think their rationale is... Hold on. Let me think...It's something along the lines of: 'melting-pot yada, yada, homogeneity-within-diversity', or something--
Anyway!!!
Don't ask me what that means.
I don't know, and I don't care!
All I know is that it's not for me.
You see...
Me???
I've ALWAYS liked my characters as BlackityBlackBlackestDark Chocolate as possible!!! HOW ELSE can I spice up my shows AND show my viewers that I'm pRoGrEsSiVe?!
So, without further ado, let's get to it!
Since you didn't ask me to, I (a bona-fide, non-African, un-Black, something-or-other-somebody looking to be edgy) am gonna teach YOU (a likely non-Black, un-African, somebody somewhere itching to virtue-signal) how to make my world-famous and delicious Easy Black Spice Pops.
It's the perfect side-dish for every affair! Best of all? It's diversity a la carte!
Ganbatte!!!
Easy Black Spice Pops
Serves 100 Million
Prep Time: 45 Minutes
Cooking Time: 1 Month
Total Time: 1 Month, 45 Minutes
Ingredients
1 Nose (Save time by getting any type but their own. Theirs is always out-of-stock.)
1 Shade of BrownNight-ColoredDarkBlack Skin
Example of preferred BrownNight-ColoredDarkBlack Skin on NELL PHANTOM, from The Princess' Jewels manhwa
1 Pair of Shapeless Lips (Preferably pink)
Example of Shapeless Pink Lips on GARETTA, from the Hunter X Hunter anime
1 Patch of Hop-Scotch Cornrows (If unavailable: substitute for 1 Bundle of Formless Locs. If all else fails, go for the Stiff Afro.)
Example of Hop-Skotch Braids on LUC, from the Darker Than Black anime
Example of a bundle of formless locs on KILIK RUNG, from the Soul Eater anime (or are they Hop-Skotch Braids? Your guess is as good as mine...)
Example of a bundle of formless locs on CANARY, from the Hunter X Hunter anime
1 Pair of Eyes (Eyes should be on the beadier side, and preferably ANY color but black or brown, we don't want them to be any less palatable than they already are...)
Yellow eyes on EUNHA LEE, from The Make-Up Remover manhwa
Green eyes on KING GOLDBLACKROSE, from The Princess' Jewels manhwa
1 Brain Predisposed To Marginalization/Subservience (Or, you could skip the brain part. They don't need to be strong and smart. After all, we can't have them overshadowing the AsianWhiteLight-Skinners!!! What sense does it make to make it harder to prove that Asians will win in the end?)
Example of a Brain Predisposed To Marginalization/Subservience in CAROLE, from the Carole & Tuesday anime (FYI: Carole let a runaway, filthy-rich, blonde named Tuesday come squat at her house for years without lifting a finger. Carole's character completed her mammy role with gusto, using herself repeatedly as a human shield for Tuesday's sake.)
2 pairs of Goku's muscles (Because even though he 'ain't beating Goku', we want you to think that he could--because: how else would you know he was an AfricanBlackDark-Skinner??? How else would we enforce the stereotyope that AfricanBlackDark-Skinner's bodies are strong???)
2 Pairs of Goku's Muscles on MANDEOK BANG, from the Lookism manhwa
1 Big, Disposable Body (Because, duh. What if we need a scapegoat??? You don't expect us to pick anyone else when a AfricanBlackDark-Skinner's right there, do you??? I guess we have this in common with Hollywood.)
The Big, Disposable Body of CHARON, from the Fire Force anime
3-5 Names of West African Gods or Spirits (Or alternatively, 3-5 stereotypical items that represent African stuff. For example: 'drum', 'spear', 'bone', 'shaman', or 'voodoo' will do. If all else fails, just use a clown.)
OGUN MONTGOMERY from the Fire Force anime, named after a Yoruba spirit/god
ONYANKOPON from the Shinjeki No Kyojin anime, named after an Ashanti god
YEMOJA (Abraham Calhoun's Avatar) from the Let's Play manhwa, named after a Yoruba goddess
ABENGANE from the Hunter X Hunter anime, a "voodoo" practitioner
1 Boisterous/Child-like personality (We prefer this, because AfricanBlackDark-Skinners don't seem quiet.)
Play-time/Doll-obsessed KRONE from the Promised Neverland anime
1 Dozen Rap References (Because...well...stereotypes are fun! LOL.)
The ever-rapping, b-boying, hip-hop posing KILLER B from the Naruto anime
1 Thin Plot (It's important that it's a THIN plot because that makes it easier to mix into the main plot)
1 Hard-Knock Life (Because...well...what does a 'happy life' for an AfricanBlackDark-Skinner look like???)
Instructions
Add the Shade of BrownNight-ColoredDarkBlack Skin, Pair of Shapeless Lips, Patch of Hop-Scotch Cornrows, Pair of eyes, Nose, Brain Predisposed To Marginalization/Subservience, Hard-Knock Life, Boisterous/Child-like personality, and Big, Disposable Body With Double Goku's Muscles to a bowl and stir. Chill in refrigerator for 15 minutes.
Google "Names of west African gods" (or alternatively, "African stuff") for 5 minutes. Quickly spread search results onto Thin Plot.
Take primordial soup out of refrigerator and pour slowly onto Thin Plot. Sprinkle rap references on top. Let sit for 5 minutes.
Carefully knead Thin Plot into main plot for 20 minutes.
Bake (animate) for one month and serve hot to viewers.