If (STATUS)...why (ISSUE)??? Solution (DUH).

I noticed this hilarious low-key trend on TikTok and I had to share it. LOLZZZ!

Let's play!

• If Black...why illiterate? School.

• If Black...why ghetto? Suburb.

• If Black...why need 'representation'? Black history month.

• If Afro-Latino...why Spanish? English.

• If Afro-Latino...why dark skin? Light skin.

• If Afro-Indigenous...why 'indigenous'? Black.

• If African...why corrupt? Conscientiousness.

• If African...why disease? Heal.

• If African...why sovereignty? Colony.

---

Below is a different (slightly wordier) twist on this trend. Let's watch:

Playtime!

EAST ASIA (Anime, Manga, Manhwa, C-drama, J-Drama, K-Drama):

• Japan

  • If manga/anime no mention that the prettiest/coolest kid in school kid have European ancestry, how they explain why character so hot?

  • If manga and anime no use light-haired protagonist + dark-haired antagonist combo, how audience know who's the good guy??? How else Japanese honor Taoism?

• Korea

  • If Korean males no culturally appropriate or do best imitations of Black people in dance scenes of K-dramas, how Koreans males prove their coolness?

  • If Koreans no use microaggressions towards Black characters, how else they prove anti-blackness??? Huh? How else Koreans show support for xenophobia???

• China

  • If bad guys no wear black, then how audience know who is bad???

• Japan & Korea

  • If Japanese anime and Korean dramas no follow stereotypical depictions of African and Black people, how audience know that character is Black?

  • If Japanese and Korean dramas no show Black men as lecherous or thugs, how else East Asian men keep their women to themselves? How else east-Asians express anti-blackness?

  • If Japanese anime, manga, manwhas, and K-pop no mock/question Black/African features, then how Japanese and Koreans know Black/African people strange and ugly?

• Japan, Korea & China

  • If east Asians no mention having visited European countries in J-dramas, C-dramas, or K-dramas, how east Asians prove they well-traveled?

  • If east Asians no emulate Europeans in J-dramas, C-dramas, and K-dramas, how east Asians prove they equal to Europeans? How else east Asians grapple with their inferiority complexes on screen?

  • If east Asians no mention how having dark skin is unattractive in their societies, how else east Asians show their anti-Blackness and afrophobia?

  • If east Asians no mention how poor Africans are, how east Asians celebrate progress? How east Asians justify their neo-colonialism and manifest-destiny tendencies in Africa?

CENTRAL ASIA (Bollywood):

• India (Hindi & Tamil Dramas)

  • If dark-skinned Indians no servants, how viewers know who more important? How viewers tell caste in historical dramas???

  • If Indian home no show traces of colonialism in customs, then how Indians in home prove that they're civilized?

SOUTH AMERICA (Telenovelas):

• Columbia

  • If white-skinned Hispanics not stars of drama, how viewers enjoy the romance? How viewers see good-looking characters?

  • If Black Hispanics no bear microaggressions quietly and gracefully, how Columbians prove that race isn't a big deal in Columbia?

WEST AFRICA (Nollywood):

• Nigeria

  • If hot girl not light-skinned, how "hot girl"?

  • If Nigerian barrister (lawyer) no wear white wig in court scenes to emulate European lawyers, how Nigerian barrister?

  • If young Nigerian no emulate Black American misogynistic, male thug stereotype when angry, how else Nigerian man prove he ain't playing? If young Nigerian males (rappers especially) no say N-word, how young Nigerian males prove their coolness?

  • If Nigerian no go "abroad", how Nigerian prove they're upper-class? If Nigerian no specifically say that they went to America, how other characters know they went "abroad" not just "overseas"??? How else Nigerian prove that he/she "made it" and is better than everyone around them? How else Nigerian prove close proximity to white man?

  • If Nigerians no emulate Europeans in Nollywood dramas and shun their own culture, how Nigerians prove they civilized? How how else audience notice Nigerian self-hate?

NORTH AMERICA (Hollywood):

• United States of America

  • If Hispanic male no chatty comedic relief, why Hispanic male?

  • If Hispanic female no spicy, exotic love interest afflicted by poverty or her anger management issues, why Hispanic female?

  • If Asian male not included to support stereotype of Asian male being passive, sexless, or super-smart, why Asian male?

  • If colonizer no play ancient Egyptians in movies, then how white man stroke his own ego??? How else whites prove that anywhere non-whites did something great in history it was because of him?

  • If Black characters not around to die instead of white characters, how white character live?

  • If a zillion Black antagonists not around to take the punches of white protagonist, how we know white protagonist fought their way through obstacles to achieve his goal? If white protagonist no defeat big strong Black man, how we know white protagonist mighty?

  • If Black person main character...why black person main character???

  • If white man no symbolically duel with every male of color he finds, how white male prove his superiority?

WESTERN EUROPE (Talk Shows, Other Shows):

• Don't get me started.